How many times have we heard the above advice only to not heed it and then wonder what the heck went wrong?
Last night, I went cross-country skiing when I got home from work. Like so many times before, it was dark. It was warm (for xc skiing, about 40 F) and drizzly. These are not ideal xc ski conditions and definitely not the ones that I would pick, but I went anyway. Yeah, I was skiing in slushy, mash potatoes, but it was beautiful on the mountain. The ambient light getting reflected downward onto the snow highlighting the fog. It was peaceful, and after the hectic nature of work and running errands after work, it was much needed. When I was trying to figure out what to write this week, this cross-country ski trip that I took last night stuck out to me because made me think of how it applies to raising my boys.
Too many times we don’t do things because conditions are not perfect. It’s too hot, too cold, too wet. Cover is too thin, or water levels are too low. It’s too sunny or too windy. Or it’s too rainy. I get it, you don’t want to ski because thin cover is hell on your high priced skis. Isn’t that what rock skis are for? Yes, my everyday skis have a chunk of the base missing because I xc ski on the thinnest skiffs of snow, but they are also 30 year old hand-me downs. This weekend, I picked up a used pair of xc skis for $10. My sons asked me if I really needed them. I told them for $10, they would end up bringing one of us joy one day.
Joy is the point. Joy comes from DOING things. We don’t experience joy from complaining about the weather, the dark, kids playing with their screens, or a hundred other things. Yes, you are going to need to problem solve. Last night, that involved thinking that I should wear my 20+ year old Gore-tex shell. Yeah, I used a lot of brain power on that one.
My sons and I did a lot of things this weekend. Snow was shoveled, firewood was hauled into the house, the cargo box was installed on top of the new vehicle, the dishwasher was emptied, it was filled, meals were cooked, we went snowshoeing, we went xc skiing, and we packed for an upcoming trip to see family for Thanksgiving. Did I as Dad have to do everything? Heck no! Did I coach, counsel, lend a hand, put a shoulder in? Oh yeah! Was everything done perfectly? Nope. But, because I didn’t have to do everything, I wasn’t stressed. Because I wasn’t stressed, the boys were relaxed. Because we were relaxed, we laughed, we did, we enjoyed! Isn’t that the point?
I have an exercise for you to try this week. When you have a moment alone (driving in your car on the way to work is a great time to do this), think about something that you would like to do with your kids or that you would like your kids to be able to do. What is stopping this from happening? Identify the roadblocks. Problem solve. How could these roadblocks be overcome?
Good Luck on Your Quest! Do What You Can Do!
TonyB
Last night, I went cross-country skiing when I got home from work. Like so many times before, it was dark. It was warm (for xc skiing, about 40 F) and drizzly. These are not ideal xc ski conditions and definitely not the ones that I would pick, but I went anyway. Yeah, I was skiing in slushy, mash potatoes, but it was beautiful on the mountain. The ambient light getting reflected downward onto the snow highlighting the fog. It was peaceful, and after the hectic nature of work and running errands after work, it was much needed. When I was trying to figure out what to write this week, this cross-country ski trip that I took last night stuck out to me because made me think of how it applies to raising my boys.
Too many times we don’t do things because conditions are not perfect. It’s too hot, too cold, too wet. Cover is too thin, or water levels are too low. It’s too sunny or too windy. Or it’s too rainy. I get it, you don’t want to ski because thin cover is hell on your high priced skis. Isn’t that what rock skis are for? Yes, my everyday skis have a chunk of the base missing because I xc ski on the thinnest skiffs of snow, but they are also 30 year old hand-me downs. This weekend, I picked up a used pair of xc skis for $10. My sons asked me if I really needed them. I told them for $10, they would end up bringing one of us joy one day.
Joy is the point. Joy comes from DOING things. We don’t experience joy from complaining about the weather, the dark, kids playing with their screens, or a hundred other things. Yes, you are going to need to problem solve. Last night, that involved thinking that I should wear my 20+ year old Gore-tex shell. Yeah, I used a lot of brain power on that one.
My sons and I did a lot of things this weekend. Snow was shoveled, firewood was hauled into the house, the cargo box was installed on top of the new vehicle, the dishwasher was emptied, it was filled, meals were cooked, we went snowshoeing, we went xc skiing, and we packed for an upcoming trip to see family for Thanksgiving. Did I as Dad have to do everything? Heck no! Did I coach, counsel, lend a hand, put a shoulder in? Oh yeah! Was everything done perfectly? Nope. But, because I didn’t have to do everything, I wasn’t stressed. Because I wasn’t stressed, the boys were relaxed. Because we were relaxed, we laughed, we did, we enjoyed! Isn’t that the point?
I have an exercise for you to try this week. When you have a moment alone (driving in your car on the way to work is a great time to do this), think about something that you would like to do with your kids or that you would like your kids to be able to do. What is stopping this from happening? Identify the roadblocks. Problem solve. How could these roadblocks be overcome?
Good Luck on Your Quest! Do What You Can Do!
TonyB
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